Instead, these two conditions have symptoms that overlap – a lack of focus and inattention being two of them. But studies have shown that children with anxiety don’t necessarily have ADHD more often. In the past research has suggested that ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand. Lack of FocusĪccording to the Centers for Disease Control, 6.1 million children have been diagnosed with some form of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in the US. After days or even weeks of appearing “normal” on the surface, these children will suddenly reach a point where they cannot hide their anxious feelings anymore and have a disproportionate reaction to something that triggers their anxiety. A child who goes from calm to a full-blown tantrum without a reason is often ill-equipped to talk about their anxiety and tries to hide it instead. In reality, they have pushed hurt and anxiety so deep for so long that a seemingly innocent comment or event suddenly sends them straight through the chandelier. To borrow a term from renowned social scientist, Brené Brown, chandeliering is when a seemingly calm person suddenly flies off the handle for no reason. Unable to communicate what is really going on, it is easy to interpret the child’s defiance as a lack of discipline instead of an attempt to control a situation where they feel anxious and helpless. For example, a child already experiencing the flood of stress hormones at the prospect of going to bed, lashes out at being given an orange cup instead of a blue one. As a way of feeling secure and comforted, they seek to take back control, often in unexpected and peculiar ways. There is nothing more frustrating to a child with anxiety than feeling like their life is out of control. going to a party), the fight or anger response is activated as a form of protection.įinally, one of the markers of generalized anxiety is “irritability” which is also part of the anger family. Because anger and anxiety are both activated from the same brain region and have similar physiological patterns (rapid breathing, heart racing, pupils dilating etc.), it’s possible that when your child feels like there is a threat (e.g. This genetic wisdom protects us from threats and danger. When the brain perceives a threat, the amygdala (a small, almond-shaped cluster of neurons in the brain) activates the flight-or-fight response which floods your body with hormones to make you stronger and faster.
Helplessness leads to frustration which can show up as anger.Īnger and anxiety are also both activated in the threat center of your brain. When our kids are chronically and excessively worried and don’t feel like they have to skills to manage the anxiety, they feel helpless. Anxiety occurs when there is an overestimation of a perceived threat (e.g., a test or a party) and an underestimation of coping skills (e.g.,”I can’t handle this.”). Here are some hypotheses as to why there is a link. The link between anger and anxiety is an under-researched area, but in our work, the manifestation of anger in anxious children is clear. Others have anxiety about falling asleep, thinking they will miss their alarm or be tired in the morning.
In many kids, trains of anxious thoughts keep them awake long after they should be asleep. In children, having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep is one of the hallmark characteristics of anxiety. Research has shown that anxiety can lead to sleep disorders and chronic sleep disruption can lead to anxiety.
Difficulty SleepingĪnxiety and sleep problems have a chicken and egg connection. Let’s try to understand why anxiety manifests in these ways by taking a deeper dive into each: 1. This makes the iceberg look more like this: In our work at GoZen!, we see anxiety showing up 8 different ways. Anxiety, in fact, can manifest in a multitude of forms. You may have a child that can’t focus, motivate, or even loses sleep at night. You might have the perfect child at school that comes home and constantly picks fights with you or siblings. Your child might ask repetitive questions for reassurance and no matter how many times you answer, the question repeats. While the image above can be eye-opening, there’s a huge assumption that parents can actually recognize that tip of the iceberg or look at a child’s behavior and say, “Yup, that’s anxiety.” Here’s the reality: anxious behavior in children is not uniform. Therapists often illustrate this idea with an image like this:
Observing the behavior of an anxious child is sometimes like looking at the tip of an iceberg: underlying the anxious behavior are layers of emotions and experiences. Icebergs are deceiving because what you see on the surface is usually only a small fraction of what lies below.
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